I can’t tell you how many times I’ve started to submit this post only to decide that I wasn’t ready just before clicking the “publish” button. But, I feel that it’s now time.
I vaguely mentioned that my family had recently gone through a dramatic change recently. I wasn’t sure about sharing it here, but I feel that God is directing me that direction. While I will not be giving every detail, I will share my story and how God is working in my life.
On the afternoon of January 19th, our lives were thrown a HUGE blow that we are still reeling from! While I wish that I could say that we had no idea that it was coming, we had been praying and praying that God would not allow it to come to this. On this day, our oldest daughter decided that she was moving out and moving in with her boyfriend, his mother, his mother’s boyfriend, his sister, and his young twin brothers. She came home early from work and had already packed her bags the night before. She had been planning this for a long time.
Over the last several months, he has convinced her that our beliefs are not for her, that there is no God, and that he means more to her than anything else. Our hearts are just breaking. We had put rules in place to help protect her, yet give them the space to get to know each other in a safe setting here at home. We wanted them to get to know each other, as well as allow us to get to know him. They both chose to ignore this rule and take matters into their own hands, and continually deceive us about everything. While we definitely were not happy about this and both said some things that we know we shouldn’t have out of hurt and anger, we would always ask her for forgiveness. We were/are hurting, scared parents who cannot save our 19-year-old daughter from the very bad choices that she is making.
We had told her months ago what the consequences of moving out and going down a path that we could not/would not sanction would be, but she still chose to follow whatever bad advice that she was receiving from him. He and his family are a godless family with no desire to have Christ in their lives. She sees this as an acceptable way of life.
We took back her car, which was part of the lease program through my husband’s work, and she had to buy her own car. We also found out that the day she moved out, she was fired from the job that she has loved. She would not tell us the reason.
Our hearts are so heavy right now. I’ve cried harder and sobbed louder than I ever thought possible. My husband and our other two children are just as heartbroken and confused about things as I am. Please don’t think that I’m saying that we are perfect and have made all the right decisions. I’m sure that we have made mistakes, and will make many more before it’s all said and done. The decisions we’ve had to make since this has happened have not been easy. Some have caused my heart to break even more, even though I didn’t think that was possible. We are having to let her go physically, but we have the promise that He has never left her, regardless of what she thinks. Our prayer is that God will use her poor choices to draw her to him, and that He will soften her heart toward Him. We are also praying that He will give us the peace & comfort that we need right now during this difficult time so that we can be the parents that we need to be not only to her, but to our other two children, as well. While we can’t answer the “why’s”, we are here to show them what God says in His Word. I could list dozens of verses that He has shown me since this all happened about peace, comfort, how we battle sin on a daily basis, how he gives us the strength to get through each minute, each heartache, each spiritual battle, etc.
While we don’t understand why this is happening to our family, we do know that God knew that it was going to happen, and that He will walk with us through this battle. He will bring us through it. She is His, as is the rest of my family. Just because she chooses not to acknowledge Him right now, doesn’t mean that He doesn’t love her.
I don’t know what the future holds for my oldest daughter, but I do know that I still love her, and I will always love her. She knows that she is welcome to come home, but our rules will still apply. Please, if you feel led, lift my family up in prayer as we go through this difficult time. I’m not looking for sympathy or criticism, but just asking for prayers.
God is using this time to draw my family (especially me), closer to Himself. My biggest prayer is that He uses this situation to draw her to Himself. I pray that my family and I will allow God to take this situation and use it for His Glory. Will you pray with me?